Why Going "Above and Beyond" Might Be Costing You More Than You Realize

I literally woke up to the sound of L stirring in his bassinet, and just like that… download incoming. I grabbed my phone and started jotting notes because this message needed to be shared.

This one’s for you if you've ever bent over backwards for someone, especially in business, only to feel unappreciated, ghosted, or taken for granted.

Recently, one of my private clients came to me feeling really hurt. She had just been ghosted by a client she’d done a project for, and her biggest pain point was this:

“I don’t understand why they would do this to me when I went above and beyond for them.”

And my response was this:

Why? Why did you go above and beyond?
Did they ask you to?
Were you clear on what your version of "above and beyond" even was?
Or were you hoping that going the extra mile would secure validation, loyalty, or maybe even love?

Here’s the truth I shared with her, and what I want you to hear loud and clear:

Going "above and beyond" is often rooted in impostor syndrome and comparison paralysis.

Especially for women, there's a deeply conditioned belief that we have to overdeliver just to earn our place. That we need to outdo expectations in order to be seen as worthy, capable, or successful.

But if you truly felt secure in yourself, in your life, business, relationships, you wouldn't feel the need to overcompensate. Because you, exactly as you are, are more than enough.

Yes, sometimes you’ll feel called to give a little extra. To surprise and delight. To add the bonus or go the extra mile. And when it comes from pure inspiration and service, it’s beautiful.

But when it comes from expectation, it breeds resentment.

Generosity, real generosity, doesn’t keep score.
My dad (God love him) was the king of keeping tabs on his generosity.
Whenever he felt wronged, he’d pull receipts from years ago:

“Well, remember when I bought your son that car when you were going through it? That should count for something.”

That’s not generosity. That’s manipulation. And no, Larry, it doesn’t count.

Here’s the kicker: “Above and beyond” is totally relative.
What I consider extra might be your baseline. What you consider next-level may not even register to someone else. That’s why it so often backfires. it’s based on assumptions, not agreements.

And when you make a habit of overdelivering from a place of lack, it chips away at your energy. It hardens your spirit. It makes it harder to give freely when you actually want to, because you’re so used to being disappointed when it’s not reciprocated.

So, stop doing it, especially in your business.

Amazon goes above and beyond for Prime members because people pay for that.
That’s an exchange, not a favor.

Your energy, your services, your presence… it’s sacred. Start acting like it.

And if you're ready to step into that unshakable belief that you are sacred as shit, my membership is exactly where you belong. Inside, you’ll find my mindset and manifestation vault where I teach you how to trust yourself deeply, believe in your power, and co-create with the universe like the magic-maker you are.

Let’s stop overgiving from emptiness and start receiving from overflow.
You’re not here to prove your worth. You’re here to own it.